IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, TRY, TRY AGAIN

We don't know how resilient our children are, until we give them an opportunity to show us. Yesterday C had a dentist appointment. Two weeks ago he watched a cartoon that showed the main character visiting the dentist and losing a tooth. The Tooth Fairy visited the character (I can't remember which cartoon it was, but I think it was on Disney Jr.), and from that day on, C asked daily to visit the Dentist and have the Tooth Fairy visit. Of course he asked in his own way, "We have to go to the Dentist today, I have a loose tooth and the Tooth Fairy needs to come."

Many of us have anxiety visiting the dentist, and because of our anxiety, I think we tend to pass the fear on to our children. Add in a cognitive, developmental, sensory or attention issue, and there is a potential for disaster. When I made the appointment, I made sure that the team at the office had updated their files to show C has Autism. I didn't realize that I was nervous, until C got into the chair. C however, had no anxiety. He climbed right into the chair, looked the Dentist in the eye, and smiled.

C with Dr. Katz

Our visit was perfect. C was uncomfortable with the buzzing contraption they use to clean teeth, squirming, but not complaining. He didn't bite, didn't yell out, and remained in the chair. He had no cavities, no loose teeth, and his oral hygiene is top notch, according to the Dentist.

After the clean bill of health, the Dentist, Dr. Katz, looked me in the eye, and said, "C did amazing!". My eyes welled with tears, and I let go of the breath, I didn't even know I was holding. Trained at Kennedy Krieger, Dr. Katz has a complete understanding and acceptance of our children's needs. He was patient, accommodating, and was able to work quickly and efficiently.

Having a dentist that is calm, while working on our children, and in addition, understands our children's needs, on a level greater than the average, proved to be a key component to our successful visit. Putting my mama fear to the side, and acting as if a visit to the dentist was as common as a day in the park,  ensured C had no anxiety.

I know that I sometimes cancel plans, don't attend functions or parties, and plan our family activities around C's past successes. What I tend to forget is that I will not know how C will react to a situation, unless I put him in that situation. C's success is based on the experience I allow him to have. If we keep him contained in the safe bubble of our home, how will he ever learn to navigate the world around him successfully? My fear cannot hold him back. My sensitivity to others response to his Autism, is my own issue, not his. What I forget is that the community around us is learning, becoming aware, more accepting of his needs and response to his environment. If I encounter someone less understanding, it is my responsibility to try to educate and encourage acceptance.

There will be failures, I will attempt activities that just won't work with his needs, but I have to try. And if I encourage C to try, and try again, maybe he will learn to tolerate activities that we never thought possible. If we, as a family, surround C with guidance and support, and contain our own aversion and fear, if we try, maybe those activities we thought were going to be failed attempts will be successful and natural, just as a trip to the dentist turned out to be.

For more information about Dr. Katz practice: Katz For Kids