October is National Bullying Prevention Month

When my brother was 2 years old, he had a traumatic brain injury. He and my cousins were racing up the steps to the stoop of their apartment building. His accident happened before there were enforced building codes regulating the distance between the spindles on decks or stairs. My cousin reached the door first, threw open the screen door, hitting my brother in the back and knocking him through the spindles, and onto the concrete below.

Because of the accident, he endured countless surgeries, had to wear a helmet, lost partial use of his right hand, and began having epileptic seizures. He was a fighter and with each challenge he prevailed. With every obstacle, he pushed himself harder. There wasn't a day in his life that was easy or carefree, yet he lived life. His life may have been unconventional to some, but it was the life he chose.

There were many occasions when his disability cost him job opportunities. His seizures could sometimes knock him out for days at a time. The medicine he took to control the seizures had side effects that he felt were worse than the aftermath of the seizure. His experiences hardened him a bit. He had a sarcastic personality, but I think that part of the sarcasm was a way for him to beat others to the punch, to ensure the joke was on others and not him. Underneath his sarcastic, and sometimes anti-social personality was a person who loved deeper than many men I have encountered, a man who cared with every ounce of his being, a man that wanted to be accepted.

My brother fought his whole life against those who treated him differently and those that judged him before they knew him. Maybe he was different, maybe he was eclectic, or a loner, but that didn't make him any less human.

My brother, I believe, was a victim of bullying. It caused him to act depressed, to internalize his feelings and to remove himself from social situations. What those people who prejudged him missed out on was a loyal friend. Someone who would have given the shirt off of his back to anyone who asked. A friend that would give his last dollar, if someone else needed it more. A man that would listen to you, give you advice, be a shoulder to cry on, and a friend to laugh with, if they had just given him the opportunity to do so.

October is National Bullying Prevention Month. Did you know that children with special needs are two to three times more likely to be bullied than their "normal" peers? Children with disabilities may be unable to communicate to us that they are being bullied, may not know how to respond to bullies. www.stopbullying.gov highlights the following behaviors as signs there may be a problem with bullying:

• Unexplainable injuries
• Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry
• Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness
• Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating. Kids may come home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch.
• Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares
• Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school
• Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations
• Feelings of helplessness or decreased self esteem
• Self-destructive behaviors such as running away from home, harming themselves, or talking about suicide

There are laws that protect children with disabilities from bullies through their 504 Plan or IEP, however it is important that if you feel like your child may be a victim of a bully, to review the School District's policy on bullying.

Bullying cannot stop with just one person. It takes the community to ban together to prevent bullies from having the power. We need to continue to reinforce positive behaviors in our children, and teach them to respect one another and not "judge a book by it's cover".

For more information on Bullying Prevention, visit:
www.pacer.org
www.stopbullying.org
www.bullyingprevention.org